Monster
by The Pigeon One
Summary: "I'll stop the whole world from turning into a monster." Raven returns to Azarath only to find that both she and her beloved home are in grave danger. Her father's cult is after her, intending to kill her, and she must do all she can just to survive.
1. Throwing Punches

This story isn't technically new. I started writing it many years ago, back in the prime of my Teen Titans years. The original title translate from Latin to Save us from Danger, Save Us from Evil, but I think that's ridiculous so I changed both the title and a good deal of what happens in the story.

Music for this chapter is Throwing Punches and (at some parts) Just Like Me, both by Paramore.

_I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world  
>From turning into a monster and eating us alive<br>Dont you ever wonder how we survived?  
>Now that you're gone, the world is ours.<em>

_~Monster, Paramore_

Monsters  
>Chapter 1<p>

Raven stood tapping her foot listlessly, Robin standing in front of her. Robin had been acting moody recently and had been particularly bad that all day. He was staring at her now, burning holes into Raven's skull with his eyes. She wished he would hurry up and say what he needed to say – she was getting bored.

"Come on, Robin, out with it,"

Robin's mouth, previously open in indignation, snapped shut and his lips formed a thin line. "You need to stop acting like that, Raven," he seethed. "It's rude."

Raven arched her eyebrow and rolled her eyes. "It's called being blunt and getting to the point. Which you aren't doing."

"My point is you're a bitch and you need an attitude check!"

Raven sighed and folded her arms under her chest. Honestly, she had seen it coming. With Robin's change of attitude came her own; she couldn't act the same around him when he got so ridiculous. He had been different after his breakup with Starfire, becoming a moody, anti-social creep. He had gained a few pounds, something that was hard to hide in his brightly coloured spandex.

"Okay, I'm a bitch, whatever. I need a break." She turned on her heel and walked away from the room, leaving Robin to his own thoughts and deciding it was well past the time she should gone to visit her mother.

XXX

Raven knocked on Starfire's door, most of her possessions packed into three suitcases that she had placed next to the door before knocking. Starfire answered her door in her pink silk pyjamas, her long legs exposed in the short shorts, remind Raven just how old the Titans had gotten. Raven smiled kindly and asked if she could come in. Starfire nodded cheerily and moved aside to let Raven in.

Raven sighed and almost plopped down on Starfire's mattress. "Kori, you aren't going to like what I have to say, but please promise me you won't get upset."

Worry creased Starfire's features. "I fear I do not understand, friend. What is it that you mean?"

Again, Raven sighed. "Look, I have to leave the Tower. Robin and I aren't getting along and I feel like I need some time off. I'm tired of fighting crime every day and I'm tired of dealing with an angsty Robin. I'm going back to Azarath to see my mother and I don't know when I'll be back."

Starfire smiled sadly at Raven and put her hand on the empath's shoulder. "I understand, my friend. You have saddened me with this news, but I know that I will see you again. Will you write to me?"

Raven nodded. "If you want, I wouldn't mind. Though our letters might take a while to get to each other. I might be able to set up some sort of inter-dimensional mailbox or something."

"That would be glorious," Starfire responded kindly. "Thank you for confiding in me, Raven. I wish you to know that I will miss you greatly."

"Me too, Kori. Me, too."

Raven left Starfire's room, the only goodbye she would say said, over, and done with. Starfire would look over the boys and give them the note she had written, a few words written for each of them. She had written the least to Robin…

She was now wandering about the Tower, her suitcases in tow, collecting various bits of her possession that had bit scattered about in the five years she had lived in the Tower. A book here, a tea cup there. There was an old sweater somewhere that she wanted to take with her.

She knew that she was going to have to get different clothes once she got to Azarath; her mother was now ruling as Queen and that made Raven a princess. This was something she hadn't told anyone – wouldn't tell anyone. If they had been surprised at finding out about Starfire, how would her friends react to _Raven_ being royalty?

She made a full circuit and ended up in front of her room again and went in, only the slightest hesitation before she did so. She had told Starfire that she was not going to be gone forever, but Raven wasn't entirely sure that she hadn't told a lie. She had been thinking about leaving since they had gotten back from Tokyo, a constant, nagging thought that grew every time Robin got under her skin or insulted her. She loved her friends dearly and loyally, but she had grown up with them, and she felt like perhaps it was time for her to stretch her wings – both metaphorically and literally – and go home. Reconnect with her mother, as it were.

She sighed as she drew the necessary things for a portal to Azarath and then sat in the middle with her suitcases surrounding her. She was nervous – she hadn't seen her mother in years and had not seen Azarath since its return to its former beauty. She wondered how people would react to her and if she would recognise any of the people there.

_There's an empty room at the end of the hall and it's begging to swallow you whole._

She spoke the incantation and she and her suitcases were off to Azarath without another look back.

XXX

Starfire went out to the common room when she heard the boys come in. They had all gone out with Cyborg to buy some car parts and had left the girls at home. _"As if I would want to go anyway," Raven had said._ Starfire had had to agree with Raven, but she hadn't known that the girl had been planning on leaving.

She held Raven's letter in her hand and she walked into the room and look sadly at her friends. Cyborg was the first to notice her there and he waved at her kindly. "Hey, Kori, what's up?"

"Friends," she said. "I fear I come with the bearing of bad news. Raven has gone back to her home on Azarath and, though she informed me that she intended to return, I do not believe she will. She came to speak with me and left with me a letter that details a personal message to each of you."

They all looked shocked and rather dismayed, but Beast Boy was the first to break through it and snatched the note from Starfire before she could say or do anything about it.

_Garfield,_ it read.

_We didn't always get along as best we should. Please know that I value you as a friend and that I will miss you even though I never really let you know just how much I value your friendship. I appreciate that you tried to make me laugh, even though it rarely worked. Take care of yourself for me._

_Victor,_

_You are like a brother to me, and I shall dearly miss our afternoons working on the T-Car together. Know that I treasure you and you will always be close to my heart. I have promised Kori that I will write to her, and perhaps I will write to you, too. Keep the boys in check; without me, things may be chaotic and I hope that you will take charge and keep them in line where I cannot. _

_Richard,_

_We were once very close and I regret that we fell from each others' graces. Be safe._

_All my Heart,_

_Raven_

Beast Boy finished reading the letter out loud with tears in his eyes. "Dudes, she's not coming back, is she?"

Cyborg shook his head. "It doesn't sound like it, man. I guess she couldn't take it anymore."

Robin snorted, his arms crossed indignantly under his chest. "Handle what? There wasn't anything for her to handle. She never _dealt_ with anything."

"She dealt with you," Cyborg muttered under his breath. Raven hadn't been the only one with leaving on her mind. Robin desperately needed and attitude check and Cyborg was fervently hoping that Raven's leaving was going to be what finally gave him a dose of reality.

Starfire's expression turned from neutral to frowning it two seconds flat. She had expected that Raven's leaving would not have a positive effect on her friends and team, and she didn't like seeing the proof of just how right she was in front of her. Her friends, fighting over ridiculous things. Robin had been right when he had told her that it would ruin the team dynamic if he were to date her and it all fell apart. It was happening right in front of her and she could do nothing to stop it.

END CHAPTER

So I'm going to work on longer chapters and such after this. This fic is going to get super involved with all sorts of intrigue and war and stuff like that. So let me know what you think. This is really just introducing the situation and setting up characterizations. This Robin is very different than the Robin I usually write – that is to say he's really rude and horrible and not as upbeat. In other words, he's a big fat meanie pants that causes all sorts of trouble.

Review if you liked it and let me know if I should continue!


	2. Empty Room

I really enjoy writing this story. I know I have a sequel to write for Mayhem in Mexico, but I like this storyline and so I keep writing it.  
>This fic is essentially set to Paramore music. Again, Throwing Punches was used, as was When it Rains.<p>

_I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world  
>From turning into a monster and eating us alive<br>Dont you ever wonder how we survived?  
>Now that you're gone, the world is ours.<em>

_~Monster, Paramore_

Monsters  
>Chapter 2<p>

Arella greeted her daughter with a warm hug and tears in her eyes. She had not seen Raven is so long that she had actually forgotten what she looked like. Her black hair was longer now, her skin peachy and glowing, her almost violet eyes happy to see her mother.

"Madar," she said happily, the Azarathian word for mother rolling from her lips flawlessly. "It's wonderful to see you."

Arella smiled at her only child, holding her at arms' length to better see how she had grown into a woman. She didn't look like the small, timid girl she had been when she had left Azarath at 13; she was a woman now, and at 18, she was beautiful, the spitting image of her mother, something Arella was both proud and happy about. "It is wonderful to see you as well, my daughter. It has been far too long. What brings you home?"

Her daughter's expression darkened and looked at her feet, something she had a habit of doing when she was uncomfortable. Arella was glad to see that some things never changed, no matter the time that went by.

"Richard brings me home," Raven told her mother, and Arella's expression was confused.

"I beg your pardon? Richard brought you home?" Arella thought that Raven was more intelligent than that; her grammar had been horrible. Arella looked around for the lithe, black-haired boy that her daughter seemed so fond of.

Raven shook her head. "No, he didn't physically bring me here, but it was his actions that lead me to come back home. I'm afraid his personality has taken a turn for the worse since Koriand'r ended their relationship."

Arella had never had the chance to meet Richard, something she deeply resented. It was quite obvious to her that Raven was quite attached to the last member of the Flying Graysons, clear to Arella that Raven disliked something that had happened between them. Arella knew that the boy was more often called Robin than Richard, and yet her daughter spoke so much more passionately about him when she called him Richard, as if it were some sort of secret the two shared that no one else was in on.

"Raven, dear, come inside, and we will talk about it then."

Raven nodded and levitated her suitcases behind her, back to the room she had grown up in.

XXX

"He's just so _hateful_ sometimes!" Raven complained, sitting on her bed with her mother. She was completely unpacked and settled into her new/old room. She was trying to explain Robin to her mother, but nothing she said came out right and she was getting frustrated. "He's turned in to something I don't understand and he's completely closed himself off from everyone. I didn't know what to do and I got sick of him treating me so horribly, so I packed up and came home."

Arella nodded and Raven noticed the way her mother was looking her up and down, like she was studying her, looking for something that didn't quite click. Raven supposed that such a thing made sense – her mother hadn't seen her, after all, in many, many years. But Raven got the feeling that her mother wasn't surveying her because she hadn't seen her in so long. No, Raven got the distinct feeling that Arella was _looking_ for something, looking for something specific and wondering what she was seeing.

"Don't you believe me, Madar?" Raven asked, stopping in her story to evaluate her mother.

Arella laughed. "Of course I do, my love. Why would you think I don't?"

Raven shrugged. "I don't know. It just seemed like you were getting some kind of crazy ideas about Richard and me. He was the one who helped me stop Trigon, and we have a bond, but I am his friend and nothing more."

Arella looked at her daughter with knowing eyes, making Raven almost visibly squirm. Raven knew that her mother had heard what she had not said rather that what she _had_, and she wasn't entirely comfortable with the assumptions that were being made.

"But he is more to you, isn't he?"

Raven couldn't help but slap her forehead in aggravation. What was it, exactly, that her mother was implying? Okay, so maybe she knew _precisely_ what her mother was going at, but that didn't make Raven any more comfortable with it. "Not in the way _you're_ suggesting. Robin is my _best_ friend, or was, in any case, until he started dating Koriand'r. He was always there for me and he was the champion in a game I lost. So yes, he was more than just someone I got along with, he was a companion."

Arella arched her eyebrow. Even with all the years they had been apart, Raven understood her mother's body language. Arella didn't know what to think of what Raven had said and was leaning on the side of not taking her words at face value. "Really, Madar, he is nothing more than that. He has never shown any preference for me nor I for him. There is nothing between us but a mutual respect and a very deep friendship. Truly."

"My darling Raven," Arella laughed, a lock of long black hair falling in her face. "I feel that you should listen to yourself when you speak! You regard him so highly when you have never thought twice about anyone else!"

Raven turned a shade of pink, a reaction very few people could get out of her. "Well, I used to, at any rate. I don't as much, these days. He's turned into something that I'm not entirely sure I want to have anything to do with. That's why I came back. He was being horrible to everyone, but it was worse with me. He went out of his way to be scathing to me. After all we had gone through, I thought that he would at least respect me enough to come to me when he had a problem. Obviously, he doesn't regard me as I once regarded him."

Arella gently put her hand on Raven's shoulder. "You told me that the Tamaranean princess ended their relationship, did you not?" She continued when Raven nodded. "Well there you have it, my love. He is heartbroken. He needs a friend there to help him through this time of pain. Do you not think that you should be that friend?"

"No," Raven shook her head. "You aren't understanding, Madar. I tried, and I tried very hard to get him to be normal again. The only thing my efforts were rewarded with were harsh words and cold stares when I walked into the room. I tried so hard to get him to at least talk to me, but he only ever ignored me or was cruel to me. I couldn't take it anymore." She paused, breathing deeply to collect herself. "Madar, he called vicious names and told me I needed an attitude check. I felt like everything I had come to know was shattering around me and I couldn't do anything to stop it."

Raven knew that her mother knew what she meant. In her first months on Earth, Raven had reported to Arella everything that had happened. Arella knew that Raven had gone to the Batman seeking help and in turn had formed the Titans with Robin not long after. She knew most of what had happened in Raven's days on Earth, reported to her by Raven herself.

Raven knew that Arella could tell that her standings with Robin were seriously bothering her. No one else would have guessed, save perhaps Robin himself if he actually cared enough these days to look. She hadn't been lying when she had said Robin was her companion. To simply call him a friend seemed like a downplay on how their relationship really worked. They moved and interacted on a more mental level than anyone Raven had ever known, speaking to each other without ever opening their mouths and frequently without the use of telepathy as communication. Robin would send her a look, his lips slightly pursed, his eyes under his mask narrowed, and Raven understood that something was irritating him. She would send him her own look, lips neutral but not frowning, eyes open, and a small shrug. She was sorry, and she understood how he felt…

"I think I need some time to myself," Raven finally said, twisting the hem of the white robe she was wearing between her fingers. "I need to figure out what I'm going to do. I need to figure out how I'm going to do it."

Arella smiled kindly at her child and stood from the bed, wordlessly leaving the room and Raven to her thoughts.

XXX

Raven walked the streets, arms swinging behind her, deep in thought. Arella's advice that she go back and try and help Robin made her uneasy. She hadn't lied when she told her mother that she had honestly tried to help Robin to get away from the demons that plagued him, but Raven knew better than anyone that Robin could hold grudges longer than most human beings lived.

Of course, Raven was no mere human, but that was beside the point. She knew that she hadn't done anything wrong, even if she had left, which she wouldn't exactly call _right_, but it wasn't wrong, and Robin had pushed her to it anyway. He had called her a bitch, insulted her in ways she wasn't entirely sure she could ever forgive, much less forget.

That was if she ever even saw him again. She wasn't banking on it. Even if she ever _did_ go back to Earth, she was fairly certain that she wasn't going to go back to life as a Titan. She was eighteen, not really a teenager anymore, on the brink of womanhood and mature enough that no one really though of her as a teenager anyway. She could go back to Earth and perhaps form a new team of crime fighters, but she discarded the idea almost as soon as she thought of it. She didn't think she could handle the pressure of leading a team, particularly if she was expected to yell stupid catchphrases like _Titans, GO!_ Every time they went to do battle. Such silliness was not her style.

This was all really just to distract her from the fact that she didn't know what to do. She had known Robin for a very long time and knew him quite well, as it happened, and she had never thought that he could dig himself into so deep a metaphorical hole. He was in so deep that he couldn't even find an escape and was running away from all of those that loved him the most. She had never seen it coming, if she was honest. She had given the Boy Wonder chances to turn everything around, but he hadn't, and she had left…

_Oh, how could you do it? Oh, I never saw it coming._

Raven stopped walking and pulled her hand through her hair, sighing in exasperation. Her whole world seemed to be crumbling down around her and she just didn't know what to _do_. Everything seemed suddenly very complicated and she had the sudden urge to cry. Her best friend hated her and she felt very much like she had left everything she had ever loved or cared for behind.

She had to admit, she felt like she had when she had first left Azarath for Earth and had literally left everything she had ever known behind. Though it was true that her mother was on Azarath, everything else she loved was on Earth, a place she felt like she no longer belonged.

Tragic. Everything was falling apart around her, and she had no way of stopping it.

Raven sighed and started walking again, aware of the fact that people of the streets were watching her, the odd little new girl. She smirked to herself – if only they knew who they were looking at. Arella had not yet announced that Raven had returned home and without the influence of Trigon.

Raven wondered if they would cheer her, these people who had not cared for her in her youth. They had known what she was from the day of her birth and most of them had not been able to look past her demonic parentage to the lost little girl she really was. She had never had any friends because she was not an appropriate playmate, the half-human child of a demon meant to destroy the precious planet she loved so dearly. No, she decided, they probably would _not_ welcome her back with open arms.

And they probably weren't going to be too happy about her being their princess, either.

Raven sighed. She missed her friends. As much as she hated to admit it, she missed the fights over tofu or meat for breakfast, a completely pointless argument, as Beast Boy was the only one who ever ate the tofu and Cyborg knew it. She missed her early morning swims on the roof and sometimes in the bay that surrounded the Tower, missed girl time with Starfire (though she would certainly never tell _Starfire_ that), missed the fact that Beast Boy cared enough about her to try and make her laugh. She missed her easy afternoons spent with Cyborg working on the T-Car, the smell of the garage permeating her nostrils.

But most of all, she couldn't deny it; she missed Robin and how close they had once been.

Raven was being very melancholy and she knew it, but she couldn't help but wonder if her friends missed her as much as she missed them. And yet, as much as the ebony haired girl missed her friends, she almost couldn't consider going back to the life she had left behind. What was left for her there but broken promises and a boy who no longer cared what she did or how she lived her life?

No, she had to admit that her home on Earth was no longer a home and she could not return to Jump City of she wanted to keep her sanity. But that didn't stop her from missing her friends, and if she was honest with herself, she knew that her life would never be the same without them.

END CHAPTER

Another chapter down! I'm hoping to make this a bit longer than my return to Teen Titans fic, Mayhem in Mexico, which was only nine chapters and an epilogue. I only have the rough outline of what I'd previously written, though, so I can't give an exact number of chapters. I'll aim for twenty and hope I have enough plot to get that many.

Anyway, review, let me know what you think. Criticism is welcome as long as it is constructive.


	3. Anger and Frustration

I really love writing this story. I feel like it's a bit darker than what I usually write, if also a bit more melancholy, at least so far.

Thank you to all those who reviewed, especially She-Pirates kick-BUTT, my most loyal reviewer and the only one from Mayhem in Mexico who has reviewed Monster. Your reviews always make me laugh.

Music is Ignorance by Paramore. You treat me just like another stranger? Yeah, I think that sort of suits what's going on with our two birds. For Robin's POV, try The Ballad of Barry Allen by Jim's Big Ego. Ironically enough, it's a song about the Flash, but we won't go there. It's a good song. Anyway…

_I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world  
>From turning into a monster and eating us alive<br>Dont you ever wonder how we survived?  
>Now that you're gone, the world is ours.<em>

_~Monster, Paramore_

Monsters

Chapter 3

Raven had gone to state dinners since the age of three. Of course, back then her mother hadn't been queen and Raven hadn't been a princess, but she had hated them then, too. They were boring and there was never any conversation, and the food was very rarely any good. It was all for show, letting the people know that the royalty dealt with the senate and they were worked hand-in-hand.

Which wasn't even true. On Earth, it was usually the monarchy that was for show, but it was different on Azarath. Here, the senate only made minor and unimportant decisions in matters of state, and the Queen (or King) made most of the important ones. The senate was there mainly to keep up appearances and keep Azarath's culture sacred. The Queen decided when to go to war, regulated the budget, things like that. On Azarath, God Save our Sovereign Queen meant something more than pretty words meant to incite patriotism.

In any case, Raven was undeniably very bored. Her mother was sitting at the head of the table, eating stoically and looking directly in front at all times, and Raven was sitting to her right. The place of honour. A place she felt very unsettled in.

Her mother had waltzed her into the room before dinner, smiling and declaring that she had an announcement to make. She steered Raven to her seat and Arella gestured towards her. Arella then proceeded to tell those assembled that her daughter had returned and had come to take her rightful place as heir to the Azarathian throne. There had been silence, long and awkward, with no one saying anything. Raven had been right – they were not welcoming her back, and certainly not with open arms.

So now Raven was sitting quietly, eating and ignoring her surroundings, pretending she was anywhere but where she actually was. In the silence, she couldn't exactly pretend she was back at Titans Tower, because it was never quite there, but she tried. She imagined that the five of them were sitting around the table, eating pizza, ordered from their favourite little pizzeria, the one right there on the mainland as they came off Titans Island. She could almost imagine that she was eating a slice of cheese pizza with mushrooms on top, her favourite, in stead of… whatever strange Azarathian delicacy was dangling disgustingly from her fork.

She sighed and got up from the table, not caring that she was being rude and breaking all sorts of protocol. She bowed to her mother with a brief "My queen," and walked away, long white dress trailing behind her. She could hear the whispers of the senate as she left, gossiping about how rude the princess was, and how dare she leave?

She cast one last look over her shoulder as she left, her black hair trailing over her shoulder. She simply didn't care what they had to say about her. They could hate her all they wanted, but Arella was still their queen and Raven was still their princess. One day, she was going to rule over them, and they didn't have a say in the matter.

XXX

_Dear Kori,_

_I miss you very terribly. Not just you, I suppose, but the boys as well. Things are so different here than they are on Earth. I'm someone different here. I was important on Earth, I suppose, and people recognised me there, but here people recognise me for entirely other reasons. Everyone knows and respects my mother, but they look at me like I'm some sort of freak. _

_Is that how you felt when you first came to Earth? Like an outsider?_

_Sorry, don't answer that, that was a stupid thing to say._

_Anyway, tell the boys I miss them, too. Tell Cyborg that I'll write him the next chance I get. Tell Beast Boy that I left him a bottle of that soda he really loves in the cabinet where I kept my tea; I forgot to tell him before I left. And tell Richard… well, tell Richard that he'd love it here and that I hope I can show him Azarath one day. Tell him I miss him and I hope he's doing well._

_Raven _

XXX

Raven really, really wanted to punch something. One of the senators, some cocky bastard called Kennedy Barrett, had come to tell her how rude she was to leave her mother the Queen alone at dinner and that she was a horrible princess. He had been about to tell her that she was a horrible person when she shut the door in his face and locked it behind her.

She was now wishing that she had a gym where she could punch the hell out of _something, anything_ it really didn't matter. She had already punched a wall straight through, and she was ashamed that she suddenly had no control over anything. Life had become suddenly so different and she wasn't handling it well at all. If she were honest with herself, she actually wasn't handling it _all_.

She wanted to stretch her muscles, do near-impossible feats of acrobatics, punch things, kick things, train and work until her muscles no longer supported her weight and she collapsed on the floor, a tired heap, unable to think through the haze of soreness and exhaustion. She wanted take her self to the very brink, testing her body's limits and pushing herself as far as she could possibly go.

Jeez, who was she, Robin?

She thought of her ex-comrade with a sigh, flicking a piece of hair that had fallen out of her ponytail out of her face. She was wearing her training clothes, ready to box the next person that crossed her path, agitated in ever sense of the word. She was beginning to sweat through her grey tank top, she felt so pent up, and she fiddled with the hem of her black shorts.

She smiled at the thought of one of the Azarathians seeing her. Azarath was a very modest place, and her shorts and tank ensemble would be considered the height of indecency. She thought of maybe walking to her mother's throne room dressed as she was and request to speak to Arella, but she had already embarrassed her mother enough for one day and she wasn't willing to do it again.

Raven sighed again and stood. Her room was huge, and if she didn't have a gym to train in, she supposed that she would have to do it in front of her big four poster bed. Without hesitation, Raven began stretching and the flawlessly pulled herself into a perfectly balanced handstand, her shapely legs parted and her toes pointed as if she were walking a tightrope on her hands. Living with an acrobat had had its advantages, she mused as she shifted her position and gracefully came down from the handstand, swift as a snake and just as sinuous. As much as she hated to admit it (and she would certainly never mention it to _Robin_), she had learned a lot from the Boy Wonder. She had occasionally watched him as he practised, waiting for her turn in the gym. She had already been limber and very flexible, but she had gotten so much better after she added some of Robin's gymnastic feats to her work out routine.

She idly wondered if she could walk a tight rope as she came out of a handspring. She had seen Robin do it; after all, he was the prodigious child of two very talented acrobats, not to mention the ward of the _Batman_. If Robin couldn't walk a tightrope, Raven would have been shocked to her very core.

She decided that she would go to her mother after she had taken a shower and speak to her about creating a gym. She had taken care of most of her pent-up energy, but she still had the tingling urge to hit something (or someone), and she knew she would carry the feeling until she literally beat it out of her body.

Meanwhile:

Robin was so damn _pissed_ he couldn't even think straight. He sent a roundhouse straight into the pinching bag and it gave an almighty shudder, coming very close to coming out of it's fixings in the ceiling. Raven had written Starfire a letter, saving the very end of it to convey a message to _him_.

_Tell Richard that he'd love it here and I hope that I can show him Azarath one day. Tell him I miss him and I hope he's doing well._

He was just so _angry_ that all he could do was spend all his energy on beating the crap out of all the equipment in the gym. The problem was that he didn't know _why_ he was angry, and that only made him even more upset.

Raven's departure from the Tower had knocked at least a little bit of sense into him, and he knew saw just how horrible a friend he had been to her. She had only tried to help him get over his breakup with Starfire, and he had treated her like a leper and far worse. He had disdained her when all she was trying to do was get him out of a rough patch. He wanted to kick himself for his stupidity, and now that she was gone, the other Titans avoided him because they blamed him.

Yeah, some friend he was.

He had written a letter to Raven, but he was afraid to give it to Starfire to send to her. He was afraid that Raven would either write him back and tell him that he would never seen her again, that she was never coming back and if he's wanted her to stay, then she should have stopped her on her way out of the door. But he was more terrified of her silence – terrified that she wouldn't write back. Raven had always been his best friend, through thick and thin, through everything that haunted him and made him start when things went bump in the night. He was only a man, and she had helped him realise that, helped him come to terms with the fact that he couldn't live up to everyone's expectations. She helped him see that he could only be himself, only be good enough for himself. And he had all but shoved her out the door.

He felt so guilty that he couldn't even handle it. Robin had read the letter Raven had sent to Starfire; she had only been there a few days and he could tell that she was already unhappy. He'd read between the lines when she'd said she missed each of them. Despite being with her mother, she didn't have anyone on Azarath to talk to. He thought she very possibly wanted to come home, though Robin knew, perhaps better than anyone else, that Raven was to proud to do such a thing. She would let a trite a thing as _emotions_ ruin her pride.

Robin mentally kicked himself; there he was, degrading Raven yet again. He really was a horrible friend. He just wanted Raven to come back so he could tell her how royally he had screwed up. And apologising wasn't something the Boy Wonder ever took lightly.

END CHAPTER

Haha, all that was filler. Pretty good filler, I hope, but still filler. Review if you have opinions. Good, bad, neutral, I want to hear them! Let me know how I did. I also update faster the more reviews I get :P


	4. Changes

If you want to know a little secret about this story, I'll tell you one. I wrote chapters two, three, _and_ this one, chapter four, all in one day. That shows you just how much I really love this story. It's a bit more challenging than the sort of stuff I normally write, and I, therefore, have more fun with it.

Thanks again to all who reviewed, especially Red X. I had forgotten that you came over from Mayhem! Sorry!

Music for this chapter is Turn it Off by… Paramore, duh.

_I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world  
>From turning into a monster and eating us alive<br>Don't you ever wonder how we survived?  
>Now that you're gone, the world is ours.<em>

_~Monster, Paramore_

Monster

Chapter 4

Arella had looked at Raven like she was crazy she had asked if she could have a gym installed near her room. Of course, Raven was a fit girl – lithe and graceful, even when she was doing something as simple as walking – and she had to keep it up somehow. Still, Arella could not imagine her pretty daughter working herself into a frenzied sweat all for the sake of keeping fit. It just seemed so at odds with who Raven was.

Still, Arella had agreed, and she'd had the things her daughter deemed necessary brought in. Raven had examined them and approved everything and was now in the room she had picked out setting everything up. Arella hoped that her prideful daughter wasn't doing it by herself, knowing that she probably was.

Arella reflected on how exactly she would know something like that about Raven. The girl had grown up, had been raised, by Azar and by the monks. Arella had only interacted with her on a few occasions during her youth. Of course, they had both cried when Raven left for Earth, but it had been more of a love that could have been was being lost sort of thing. Raven, as the child of a demon, destined to destroy the world, had not been allowed to love her mother.

Well, there was that, and her powers were ruled by her emotions, and she hadn't really been allowed to feel things before the destruction of her father, but Arella tended to like to overlook that little detail. It was uncomfortable.

In any case, Arella had been spending quite a lot of time with her daughter as of late, reacquainting Raven with the capital city, talking with her. The girl was as intelligent as they came, and she had a mysterious way to her that made the people around her understand that she was in charge of who she was and if they thought any different, she would prove them wrong.

Part of that air of authority, of course, came from the fact that people knew that she had destroyed Trigon the Terrible, locked him away where he could not escape, _killed_ him, even. Someone powerful enough to do such a thing was to be respected, and people respected Raven, even if it was more fear based than anything. She had tried to explain to people that she hadn't done it on her own, that Richard Grayson had refused to give up on her and had all but forced her to confront the demon that had, in fact, already dominated the world. That had only made people look at her, eyes wide and almost scared. One girl had actually _bowed_, something that had annoyed Raven very badly.

Arella smiled at the thought. He daughter was not the kind who enjoyed be patronised. Sometimes Raven was so like Arella that Arella couldn't help but stop in her tracks and smile. Sometimes it was the way Raven moved, the slight twitch of her hip when someone began to annoy her, the sound of her sigh, breathy and poignant, when she thought someone was being insufferably ignorant.

She also had a thing for going solo when she shouldn't. Arella wasn't sure where she had gotten that from, but it was there all the same.

And if Arella was honest, sometimes it worried her that her daughter was so independent.

XXX

Raven wondered what would happen if some random Azarathian citizen walked in to see her with the punching bag.

Azarath was a peaceful place, and its people didn't believe in violence. Raven had been raised that way, too, but she had always seen flaws in the logic that no good could ever come from violence, even if it was violence in protection of oneself. Sometimes you needed to sock someone in the face, and that was just how things were. Of course, Raven didn't go around randomly hitting people, even when she though they deserved it (Beast Boy came to mind), but still. If an Azarathian knew that she had thoughts about hitting the little green changeling, that same Azarathian would become wide eyed with shock.

Raven continued to punch the stuffing out of the punching bag, feeling her knuckles become raw with the effort. She had foregone the usual boxing gloves, or even hand wraps, simply to feel the cut of her punches. She was upset, and more so because the two letters she had sent to Titans Tower, one to Cyborg and the other to Starfire, had gone unanswered for an entire week and a half. She understood that the remaining Titans were busy – Cyborg had told her so in his last letter – but she longed to hear from them. She had no one else to talk to.

She had seriously considered writing to Robin. She had actually picked up a quill (they didn't have pens on Azarath, something that perpetually annoyed her) and dipped it in the ink. She had written his name on the heavy parchment, gotten so far as greeting him when she stopped. She raked her fingers through her growing hair, wondering if she had lost her sanity. Robin didn't want to hear from her, of that much she was sure. If he did, he would have written _her_ by now. She had written him a little note at the end of every letter she had written Starfire or Cyborg, but they had never written her back saying that he had words of thanks to convey, or words of apology. So, as much as Raven was hurt by the prospect, Raven didn't write to Robin, wishing for all the world that he would break the silence between them. She missed him.

Frustrated, she punched the bag so hard that she accidentally engulfed it with her powers and, combined with the powerful right hook she had delivered it, knocked it from its hangings in the ceiling. Put off, Raven wiped the sweat from her brow and abruptly sat down on the plush mat beneath her. She knew she looked like a petulant child, sitting there on the floor with her arms crossed and her expression sulky, but she really didn't care. What did it matter? No one would bother her in her gym – most of the servants didn't even know it existed, and those that did took deliberate measures to stay away from it, disheartened by the fact that they knew their princess was inside, practising things meant to inflict violence on others.

"Sanguise stupri magna," she muttered to herself in Azarathian. (1) Now she would have to mount the stupid thing again, and it wasn't a prospect she wasn't exactly pleased about. She had had a very hard time of it the first time, and she was too proud to go and ask for someone to help her.

Agitated, she vaulted herself up from the floor and pulled her hair back into a better ponytail, most of her hair having escaped during her workout. She would fix the stupid punching bag later. It was almost time for dinner anyway, and her mother (and everyone else, for that matter) would have a heart attack if she showed up to the meal sweaty, unwashed, and in her present ensemble.

Psh, as if she cared what anyone else thought about her. They could kiss her ass.

XXX

Raven knew that dinners, even if they weren't state dinners, were serious affairs, but when she walked into the dining hall and saw her mother at the head of the table, a letter in her hand and a solemn and worried expression on her face, Raven instantly knew that something was wrong. She was not as familiar with her mother as she wanted, true, but she knew her well enough that she could tell something had happened. That, and she wasn't an empath for nothing. She could feel the subtle pricks of anxiety in Arella's aura; subtle, but definitely there.

"Madar, quid est peccavit?" (2) she asked, slipping into Azarathian again.

Arella met her daughter's gaze and Raven sat next to her, her white silk cloak and dress combo rustling and she did so. "Raven, my love," Arella began, her voice serious. "I have no idea how to tell you this, daughter, but something has come up."

Raven held her tongue, though she desperately wanted to yell that it was quite obvious that something had come up, thanks, and she wanted to know what was going on. Instead, she folded her hands in her lap and tried not to look too impatient.

"Mia filia, I have just had a letter from someone I trust implicitly. He reports to me that there has been news of stirrings of the Cult of Trigon, and that they have discovered that you have come home, purged of your father's taint. He says that he believes that the Cult will come after you and you should take great care to make sure that they do not capture you, as he is sure they will kill you since you are no longer of use to their master."

Raven, usually so calm and control of her emotions, could feel her jaw fall open in surprise. She knew that the cult was still around; she had personally dealt with a few minor members herself after her father's death. But the cult had known she was on Earth for quite some time and had never thought to capture her there. What was suddenly so different now that she was on Azarath? Was it because they knew Azarath would not fight, that no one would do them violence if they were to try and take her?

"What am I to do, Madar?" Raven pleaded. She was afraid of something for the first time since she had rid herself of Trigon.

Arella shook her head mournfully. "I don't know, Raven. You cannot go back to Earth, that much is clear. I believe you should stay here until it is certain that they are coming for you. Until then, you must remain here and be very cautious of who you come into contact with."

Raven wanted to cry, an usual feeling. She nodded at her mother and got up from the table, excusing herself with a few muttered words of apology. She needed to meditate. She needed to control herself.

She reached her room with such speed that she wasn't entirely sure that she didn't have tunnel vision. She blew open the door, banging it against the wall and then closed again and headed straight to her desk. Even though she needed to meditate, she had something to do that she deemed equally important, if not more.

_Richard,  
>First, know that I have spelled this letter to you, and if anyone else tries to read it, it will destroy itself.<br>My mother tells me that I am in terrible danger, and I fear she is right. One of her spies tells her that the Cult of Trigon knows that I am on Azarath and that they may be coming to kill me. I don't know where I'm going to go if this is, in fact, true. I can't go back to Earth; that would be far too dangerous, both to me and you and our friends. If I want to live (and I find I do), I can't stay here.  
>I know we aren't exactly on speaking terms, Richard, but who else am I supposed to turn to? <em>

_-Raven_

She addressed the letter to Robin and quickly sealed it, sending it to Titans Tower as she had been sending her letters to Cyborg and Starfire. She hoped that he would not scoff and turn his nose up when he saw that she had sent him a letter. She desperately needed her best friend, now, and she hoped that he still cared enough about her to at least read it. She knew it had been dangerous to send him a letter at all in case it were intercepted, but she was scared, and she needed Robin's calm guidance to help her through this crisis. She was scared, and she couldn't deal with it on her own.

She sighed, knowing that Robin would get the letter in due time and she could only wait. She sat on her floor and assumed her meditation position and simply breathed, in and out. _Azarath Metrion Zinthos…_

XXX

Richard Grayson threw the last of his Robin uniforms in a box and shoved it to the back of closet. He slipped into his new uniform, his new _Nightwing _uniform, stretching his fingers in the tight blue and black spandex. He hadn't told the Titans that he had finally decided to give up his Robin persona for the Nightwing one. He expected them to think he was going to leave, which he _wasn't_ actually planning on, but he could understand why they would probably be concerned. After that whole thing with Starfire and the future (_what was his name, Warp?),_ he fully expected Starfire to jump him and not let him go under pain of death.

Still, he couldn't abide being Robin anymore. To him, Robin symbolised being a boy and the trading of Robin from Nightwing had somehow made him a man.

He realised just how ridiculous that sounded, but it was true. In the month that Raven had been gone, he had done a lot of growing, and had realised what a prick he had been to everyone. So, in the interest of being a nicer person and, in some ways, as an apology for his behaviour, he had started the transition into Nightwing.

And now he was ready to show everyone that he wasn't the Boy Wonder anymore, that he had matured and was now a man. He hoped that one day he would see Raven again and could show her that he was sorry for what he had said to her and how he had treated her right up until she had left. He still couldn't bring himself to send the letter he had written her…

At that very moment a piece of parchment slipped under his door. His heart began to beat ridiculously fast – he had read all the letters that Raven sent Starfire and Cyborg, and he was familiar with what her writing looked like. He could see it clearly from where he stood, his name – his real name – in Raven's flawless cursive. She had written him!

He picked up, careful, hopeful that she had written him that she was coming home.

END CHAPTER

Oh, Nightwing, I love you so much. No joke.

Yes, I am going to translate all that Azarathian for you. Although, it's so Latin based you could probably just go use Google translate…

Sanguise stupri magna – Bloody fucking great. Yes, I am aware that that is very foul language. I rate things the way I rate them for a reason, thanks.

Madar, quid est peccavit – Mother, what's wrong?

Somewhere in there Arella says mia filia. That means my daughter, but I didn't give it a number because there was so little Azarathian that it didn't signify.

So yeah. From now on, Robin _will _be referred to as Nightwing. Please don't let that throw you off. I didn't have him go from Robin to Nightwing simply because I have a super huge crush on Dick Grayson as Nightwing, though I certainly _do_ love me some Nightwing. He _needs_ to become Nightwing. Just trust me on this one.

So now, the real plot begins! I bet you didn't see that one coming! Okay, so maybe you did, coz, let's face it, the fic's called Monster; ergo, somewhere there has to be monsters.

Review Review Review! I smile every time I get one and they make my day! So go ahead, make my day!

Yeah, I just did that.


	5. Unkown Future

Song, the song I've been writing this story to, Monster by Paramore, has finally been released. Yes, people, that's correct, I've been writing this to a song that, until recently, hadn't been released. Don't judge.

Also, if I don't exactly keep up with things review wise, it's because I'm so many chapters ahead in what I'm writing before I publish things that I don't always remember to go back and edit my author's notes before I post the next chapter. I pre-write everything, and, oddly enough, that includes my notes.

So, obviously, the music for this chapter is Monster, though I'm not sure where exactly in the grand scheme of things it fits in, at least this chapter wise. It's the theme for this story but it doesn't really pin a certain chapter. Anyways, onwards…

_I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world  
>From turning into a monster and eating us alive<br>Don't you ever wonder how we survived?  
>Now that you're gone, the world is ours.<em>

_~Monster, Paramore_

Monster  
>Chapter 5<p>

Robin, Nightwing, now, read the informal greeting, hoping that Raven had forgiven him and was telling him that she was coming home. She always called him Richard when something important or exciting was going on, and he felt his heart beat that much faster with the thought that he hadn't even needed to apologise to his best friend for her to forgive him.

But Nightwing was quickly rid of the illusion that Raven was writing for the sheer pleasure of it. Her handwriting – usually so neat and pretty – was sloppy and almost all over the place. This was no note between best friends – Raven was in trouble. He didn't even have to read the first line to know.

_Richard,_

_First, know that I have spelled this letter to you, and if anyone else tries to read it, it will destroy itself._

He read the rest quickly, urgently, concerned for his friend. Nightwing had only ever seen Raven as terrified as her letter seemed to dictate once, and that had been before she had been used as the portal to sire Trigon in to the world. He was suddenly very angry, though not at Raven. Hadn't she been through enough? Forced to destroy the world, resurrect it, and now _this_?

But the worst part about the situation, Nightwing felt, was that he could not do anything about it. He was stuck on Earth while Raven was on Azarath, and she had said herself that she couldn't come back to Earth, and for obvious reasons. He was upset by the fact that she obviously felt that he would neglect her in her hour of most terrible need, and yet, even so, she had written him. Obviously she trusted him, although perhaps not well enough that she expected him to be forgiving once he received her note.

Agitated, Nightwing balled up the letter in his fist and threw it to the ground, storming out of his room to find Starfire and force her to tell him how she got her letters to Raven. He was already writing a letter of his own in his head, crossing out words that made him sound more angry than concerned or worried. Something in him told him that he was probably overreacting, but he knew he wasn't. _Raven_ didn't overreact and she had said that people were plotting on coming to kill her. Therefore, someone _was_ out to kill her, and that concerned Nightwing.

But more than anything, he was concerned because Raven was _right_. She couldn't come back to Earth, as that would only lead the murderers straight to all the people she cared about, and Nightwing was sure that these occultists knew that she had lived here for some length of time. Obviously she could not stay on Azarath; they knew she was there. And if Nightwing was honest with himself, he thought her being on Azarath was more dangerous for her because they didn't _fight_. They could try and hide Raven, and maybe they'd be successful, but if it came down to it and they had to make a stand, he knew they wouldn't. Raven had told him that much, on a cold, rainy night, late, when no one else was awake except the two of them, and they had talked about their pasts…

He ran straight into Starfire, he was so preoccupied, sending them both sprawling to the floor. He sprang up quickly and offered her his hand, pulling her up. She smiled kindly and turned around to go back about her business, but he grabbed her by the wrist and swung her back towards him.

"Starfire wait, I have a question for you."

She was silent, and Nightwing wondered quickly when she had become so reserved. "I want to know how you get your letters to Raven."

Starfire looked startled for a moment before she answered him. "I write her letters and leave them in the bread box in the kitchen which is the inter-dimensional portal that Friend Raven has established. She tells me that she checks the portal every day to see if she has acquired the mail."

Nightwing nodded and thanked her, going off in his own direction. He whirled around when he heard Starfire call him, startled by the fact that she had called him 'Richard' and not 'Robin' nor yet 'Nightwing'.

"You are not leaving us now that you have become Nightwing?"

Despite the situation, Nightwing smiled at his pretty ex-girlfriend. "No, Kori, I'm not leaving, at least not permanently. I have to talk to Raven, though. I think she's in trouble."

He was lying on purpose, about thinking Raven was in trouble – he knew that Starfire would want to get involved and Raven had clearly not wanted that. If she had, she would have written her letter to Starfire and asked her to pass the message along. That she hadn't spoke volumes about who she wanted involved and who she didn't – as well as who she felt could help her in the best way. She trusted Nightwing. Implicitly.

Starfire looked concerned. "Is there anything I may to do be able to help?"

Nightwing shook his head. "Nah, I'll be fine dealing with this on my own, you don't need to worry. I just… I just need to work some problems out with her, and I'm a bit worried about her, truthfully. She just doesn't sound happy in those letters she keeps sending you and Cyborg."

He knew that what he had told her wasn't exactly consistent with what he had said before, but he couldn't go back and change it. He knew it didn't matter – Starfire would believe him pretty much no matter what he said. But he had gotten what he'd wanted out of her, and he sped off as fast as he could without hurting the alien girl's feeling, back to his room, back to go write Raven a letter he wished he didn't have to send.

XXX

_Rae,  
>You can always turn to me, you know that, and I'm glad you did. Obviously, I don't have the time to give a long, drawn out apology, but I was a prick and I'm sorry.<br>I know you said that you can't come home, and you're right, although I hate to say it. You're far away and I can't help you. That really bothers me because I know that if I were there I could help you.  
>I won't tell the others; I don't want them to worry. But I want to do <em>something_ to help you. You have to let me know what I can do. You're my friend and I don't want to loose you. So don't die, okay?  
>- Richard<em>

XXX

Raven heaved a sigh of relief upon receiving Richard's letter. She understood just how long he could hold grudges and she had hoped and prayed that he wasn't going to hold one against her. She was also glad that he was willing to help. The only problem was that she was fairly certain that he _couldn't_. He was on Earth and she was on Azarath. She could bring him to Azarath, but that wouldn't be fair to the denizens of Jump City. Raven knew that without their leader, the Titans wouldn't exactly fare well. They just didn't do as well when he wasn't around. She couldn't take him away to save her at their expense.

That left her at an impasse. She knew that he was the only one who could help her; for Azar's sake, he had helped her stop the end of the world! If he were with her, he could, at the very least, simply comfort her and help her fight off the cult if it came down to a fight. She seriously hoped that it wouldn't.

Still, there was no concrete evidence that the cult was actually coming after her. Just because there were stirrings of trouble didn't mean that trouble would _actually_ find her. They knew where she was, but she didn't know how strong they were. She had rid the earth of them when she rid it of her father, but unlike Trigon, they could come back. How strong they were was questionable, and she was pretty sure that even if they were going to after her, it was going to take them a good, long while to do it.

But it had already been two years since she had sent Trigon back to where he belonged – by which she meant hell. She was fairly certain that the cult had been silent for so long because they were regaining their strength and possibly recruiting new members. When her father had essentially been in control of her, the cult had worshiped her, and perhaps with good reason, but now that she was rid of his taint, Raven was sure that they were going to hate her and blame her for the loss of their master.

Which, okay, she admitted it, made sense. She _had_ killed him, and people in the likes of the Cult of Trigon were the kind to take revenge if you took out one of their own. And she had taken out their _leader_, as it were. They weren't going to take it very kindly.

Raven took a deep breath and settled on the floor in her lotus position, preparing to meditate. She had only managed to stress herself out, and her powers tended to be out of whack if she was anxious. The last thing she needed was things exploding because she couldn't handle the pressure of everything that was going on.

As if things weren't disastrous enough already.

XXX

Nightwing wasn't sure why he had packed his bags. He wasn't leaving the team (something he had vehemently assured Starfire) and he had no immediate travel plans. Batman was fine in Gotham and no one needed his help elsewhere. Raven had written him again, telling him that she wished she knew what to do and that as much as she wanted him with her, as much as she wanted everyone with her, that she was not going to take them out of their home to bring them to hers and deprive Jump City of the protectors it so desperately needed.

Still, Nightwing was anxious, probably the most anxious he had been since Raven had allegedly brought the end of the world. He just knew that something was going to happen, a gut feeling that he tried to ignore but couldn't. He was working himself into a frenzy he was so worried and it had begun to attract the attention of the rest of the team.

Cyborg had come to him one night, asking Nightwing what was with the sudden change, both in attitude and in costume. Nightwing had smiled ironically and cybernetic man and assured him that everything was fine, that he was only worried about Raven and it was causing him undue stress. Cyborg hadn't believed him, but had left anyway, muttering about Batboys and their ridiculousness.

And Nightwing continued to pace, nervous without knowing why.

END CHAPTER

I hate this chapter. I _hate_ this chapter. I will say it again; I HATE this chapter. Absolutely nothing happens. It is pointless and not very good filler. I struggled with writing it and I feel like it's all over the place. I'm so sick of looking at it that I just stopped at one point and asked myself what the hell I was doing.

That being said, I don't expect this chapter to well liked not yet well received. It's shorter than most of the previous chapters and it just isn't very good.

Review it anyway :D

Oh, and if anyone's interested, I'm thinking on working on something I'm calling _Monster Extras_ in which I post little extras from this story in oneshot forms, like Robin's thoughts after Starfire breaks up with him and Raven's opinion Robin becoming Nightwing. Let me know if you want it to see the light of day.

Also, I've done a bit of photography related to this fic if anyone wants to see it. I temp tatted my wrist with the bat-signal and wrote some of the lyrics to Monster above and below. The link to my flckr, where these photos are posted, will be in my profile should anyone wish to see them.


	6. Amber Dawn

This chapter, I think, should be able to stand on its own, so I'm not going to say very much, except to thank my reviewers and give you music for this chapter. So thanks to all those who reviewed, and the music for this one is Hysteria by Muse. That is all.

_I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world  
>From turning into a monster and eating us alive<br>Don't you ever wonder how we survived?  
>Now that you're gone, the world is ours.<em>

_~Monster, Paramore_

Monster  
>Chapter 6<p>

Raven was sound asleep when the knock came. Drowsily, she pulled back her covers and yelled for her caller to come in, thinking of ways to maim said visitor. When it was Arella, Raven instantly regretted her thoughts and was then very worried.

"Raven," Arella whispered, the light from the candle she held illuminating her face. "My love, they have come. You must leave immediately or they will find you."

Raven was frozen for only a moment. She threw the rest of the sheets from her body and darted out of bed. "Madar, where am I to go?" she asked urgently, whipping a cloak around her shoulders and hiding her nightgown from view.

Arella grabbed her by the shoulders. "You are to go to the place where your friend Koriand'r was born. You should be safe there."

Raven understood; she was to go to Tamaran. Her mother had not directly said so for fear of being overheard by spies in the castle. It was true then – they had come for her.

"Pack a bag quickly, my love," Arella told her. "And for heaven's sake, change into something that isn't that nightgown. I fear you'll be seen if you wear it. Meet me in the throne room when you are done."

Arella exited the room, leaving Raven to herself. Her eyes welled up with tears, but she pushed them back. If she wanted to survive, she didn't have time to cry. She would have to mourn over her loss of home later, when she was safely of Tamaran and could afford to let herself go. Even then, she was not sure if she could even afford to cry; she would have to be on her constant guard.

She packed her bag quickly, leaving out the cloak she had on and a tight lyrca catsuit she had brought with her from Earth, the thing she was going to change into as soon as she had all she needed thrown half-hazardly into her bag. It would help her blend into the shadows, and it was lined with some strange Kevlar fabric that Robin had assured her was light and comfortable, but also essentially bullet-proof.

Robin.

Raven wished her were with her. He had once told her that she was almost like the centre of gravity on the team, and without her, they would surely all go mad. What _she_ hadn't told _him_ was that he was incorrect, that it was he who held the team together, and without him, things fell apart. She felt like her situation now wasn't much different; she was without him and panicking so badly her hands were shaking. It was really too bad that they had gotten into such a silly argument.

Her clothes fully packed, she quickly stripped and struggled into the skin tight suit she had brought. It _was_ tight, but she could move in it, and that was what she needed. She flung her cloak, blue as the depths of the ocean, around her shoulders and fastened it. With quick, deft movements, she grabbed her bag – much less that she had brought with her from Earth to Azarath – and was out the door to find her mother before she left.

The evidence that the cult had been there was obvious. Things were smashed all over the floor – vases, priceless paintings, furniture. She wanted to stop and perhaps try and reassemble some of her more favoured pieces, but she knew that she hadn't the time. They had already been down this way, but the cultist weren't entirely stupid. If they didn't find her elsewhere, they'd come back, looking for her, destroying even more. She had to get to her mother, and quickly.

She burst into her mother's study, a small room with blue walls, homey for all that it was essentially an office. Her eyes widened as she saw her mother standing next to an entirely familiar figure, though he was dressed in a costume she had not seen him in before.

Robin.

He turned to her as she all but exploded through the door, and they were both silent and still, her face frozen in shock, his a mask, though he was definitely concerned. She tried to speak, but she couldn't. She hadn't brought him here, that much she was sure of, and yet there he stood, next to her mother as if this had been any ordinary day and he had just decided to pop in on her and make a friendly visit.

They both knew that such was not the case.

She was the first to speak, though she couldn't remember how her lips had formed the words or how her brain had managed to regain function. "What are you doing here?"

Her words weren't bitter or angry, but almost soft. She didn't understand how he had gotten to Azarath unless he had managed to climb into the breadbox they had established as a mailbox back at the Tower. Acrobatic abilities aside, Raven was fairly certain he would not fit. He didn't smile at her and simply shrugged, the motion highlighting quite a bit of change in his body.

"Don't know. One second I'm in the Tower, minding my own business, and the next I'm standing her, looking utterly confused and being laughed at."

Raven rolled her eyes, falling into an old pattern with her friend. "Shut up, she didn't laugh at you and you know it." She turned to Arella and inclined her head in respect. "You brought him here, I suppose, Mother?"

Robin's face was confused. "Whoa, she's your mom?"

She rolled her eyes again. "No, I got all this womanly charm from Trigon. Yes, Robin, she is my mother. I only look just like her."

"I've been here all of two minutes," he countered. "Excuse me if I haven't had time to draw comparisons. And it's Nightwing now."

Ah, so that explained the costume change. She looked him up and down, enjoying the change. He had filled out and was no longer gangly. He was still thin, with an acrobat's body, but that was to be expected. He was taller, now, approaching six feet, she thought. Such a change in so little a time.

"Nightwing, then," she conceded. She gestured to her mother. "My mother, Arella. The queen."

Rob… Nightwing's jaw fell open and he quickly bowed to Arella, amusing Raven to no end. He blithered out some muttered apology and called her "Your Majesty". Raven would have laughed if they'd had the time for such pleasantries.

"Madar, I must go, and since you have brought Richard here to help me, he must leave with me as well." Her voice became thick as she said goodbye to a mother she barely knew. "I wish I could say I will keep in contact, but I cannot."

Arella smiled at her daughter. "Go with Azar, my child. I shall miss you." She turned to Nightwing and clasped his hand. "Take care of my daughter, young bird. Protect her."

He only had time to nod before Raven opened a portal and grabbed his hand, dragging him into it behind her. He watched Arella, her expression made of stone save for the one tear that tracked down her creamy cheek. Mourning the loss of a daughter she had only begun to know.

XXX

Raven landed harshly on Tamaranean soil and felt Nightwing collide with her back. She let out an 'hmph' of surprise and rolled away from him and into an almost crouch. She stood and offered him her hand and pulled him up from the ground. They dusted themselves off and looked at the impressive fortress of the castle in front of them.

Tamaran. Nightwing had been there before, obviously, and he knew Raven had too, as they had been there together, along with the rest of the Titans. He wondered if it had merely been the first place she had thought safe or if she had come here on purpose, had planned that she would go to Kori's birthplace if she could not return to Earth.

In the month she had been gone, she seemed to have bloomed. She had always had a slightly gangly appearance; girlish with the bare hint of curves, even in her form fitting leotard. But she had seemingly become a woman in the few short weeks he had not seen her, her figure more rounded and her body more developed. She was quite toned, he noticed, something emphasised by the tightness of the lyrca suit. She moved with a litheness he imagined she had probably learned from him, all grace and ease as she picked up her scraggly bag and motioned for him to follow her.

He found it odd that she knew where she was going, as if she had memorized paths on their previous visit here. They had not stayed on Tamaran very long, and he marvelled at the fact that she had taken the time to make sure she knew where she was. She had always been like that, he supposed, and yet it always surprised him when he noticed. Raven was always in control of things, even if she let others to believe that perhaps she wasn't. That was simply the way Raven was.

Nightwing found himself wondering if her abrupt departure from Azarath had pained her. She had lived there until she was thirteen, he knew, when she had left and come to Earth, seeking the aide of the Justice League. When they refused to help her, she had sought out the Batman, and that was how they had met. She knew so much about his history, and he so little of hers. He wondered if she would share some of her past with him if pressed, but he knew that things had not exactly been ideal for her before she had joined the Titans, and even, to some extent, after.

She turned to him with a knowing expression on her face, her violet eyes almost twinkling. "Think quieter," she demanded of him. "You're projecting emotions like crazy."

He had the good grace to look sheepish as Raven turned around. He sometimes forgot that she could feel emotions, and he was pretty bad at keeping what he felt to himself. _She_ knew that, of course, and she had told him more than once that he "thought" too loud, though it was only her way of telling him that he needed to simmer down. He recalled that during his relationship with Starfire that she had tended to stay away from him, and when he had confronted her about it, she'd told him that she was often able to feel what he felt, and she didn't like her hormones suddenly reacting to something for no reason. After Starfire had broken up with him, well… that was another story entirely.

"It does, you know," she told him as they approached the large bridge that would take them to the gates of the castle, and he knew that he had inadvertently tapped in on their bond. Thinking too loud, indeed. "I never really knew my mother because they didn't let me see her, and I was just starting to bond with her when the news came. I wish I didn't have to leave."

He felt suddenly so in line with her that he almost stopped walking, shocked that she felt so similarly to him. She knew most of the details of his parents' deaths and Nightwing was fairly sure that she knew that he missed them. His mother had been the one to first call him Robin, and it had stuck until he had finally grown into manhood, essentially shedding the mantle of his past to barrel forward into his future.

So he simply said "Yeah, I miss mine, too."

XXX

Sometimes, Raven wondered if somehow the Fates knew that Richard would both drive her insane and be her closest friend at the same time.

She pitied him as he spoke of his dead mother, and yet, she realized that she was essentially in much the same boat. Though her mother was not dead, Raven hardly knew her, and felt as though she couldn't speak of her for fear of saying something that wasn't entirely correct. Back when she had lived at the Tower, it had greatly confused the Titans bar Robin, but she could not explain to them that she hardly knew what her mother's face looked like, let alone how she acted or what her personality was like.

"Now you're the one who's thinking too loud, Rae," she heard from behind her, and she turned to see Nightwing smirking characteristically at her.

She rolled her eyes. "I will never cease to be shocked when you grin like that at the most inappropriate times. We've both just been thrown out of our homes and could have easily been killed and you're smirking at me as if you're thinking dirty thoughts or something."

He shrugged, still smirking. "You never know, maybe I am. That suit _is_ very form fitting."

She smacked him on the arm, rather hard. "You suggested it Bird Brain, and you were the one who took my measurements. If it doesn't fit, it's your fault."

He laughed as he rubbed his arm where she had punched him. "Well hey, it looks good. By the way, why did you never tell us you were a princess? Especially after we found out about Kori…"

"Don't kid yourself, Richard, I haven't always been a princess," she replied. "It was actually a fairly recent thing."

"But you still didn't tell us."

Sighing, Raven dropped her bag to the ground and sat, motioning for Nightwing to do the same. "Azar was essentially the ruler until she died," she told him, all business. "My mother was like her special project, and when Azar died, my mother not only became queen, but somehow inherited Azar's powers as well. She wrote to me to tell me, and I didn't tell you or any of the others because I didn't – and still don't – want to be a princess. I don't like knowing that when my mother dies I'm going to have the responsibility of ruling. It's… a burden."

She looked up to see that the smirk had finally melted from Nightwing's face and he was idly toying with the hem of her cloak, though he didn't seem to even notice he was doing it. "I guess I understand how you feel," he conceded. "I never really wanted to lead the Titans. I wanted to be on my own, go solo, and then you showed up and we somehow started fighting crime together, and when the others came along, I just sort of naturally fell in as the leader. It's really stressful."

"Oh, great Richard, thanks. That's exactly what I want to hear. Maybe I'll make you rule in my place."

She knew that her words didn't quite make sense, but she didn't care. His all-knowing smirk had returned, but he was still messing with her cloak, twirling the soft material between his fingers, but not playing with enough of it that it would tug on Raven's shoulders. He seemed all too childlike and yet utterly not at the same time. The smirk on his face belied his childish action of tugging at her clothing like a newborn at his mother, and yet, even through the mask, she could see the innocence in his eyes, an innocence Raven feared she lacked.

Sighing irritably, she subtly yanked her cloak from Nightwing's grip and stood, sweeping her bag up in one motion. He stood with her and they both looked off towards the castle. "Here we go," she mumbled. "I just hope this isn't going to be as awkward as it was last time."

Nightwing nodded. "Yeah, we wouldn't want to relive that. Do you think that Blackfire's still around?"

Raven shook her head. "Komand'r? No, she's long gone."

She walked on, leaving Nightwing wondering when exactly Raven had become so familiar with all things Tamaran.

END CHAPTER

Reunited, and it feels so good! Yes, I did just go there…

So, in case you guys are in any way confused, I'll give you a few notes:

I'm playing with fire here, mixing up the comics with the show. I really hated the way the show had the Titans meet, but I was only a little fonder of what happened in the comics, so I mashed them together. You'll get more of this in later chapters.

Arella was just a human woman. I think (I'm not sure on this) that Azarathians are meant to be simply humans as well, but that doesn't work with my plot, so they have abilities similar to Raven's. When Azar died, she passed her powers on to Arella, which explains why she was able to bring Nightwing to Azarath.

Any questions? Review and I'll answer them.

So yeah, dear old Robbie-poo is back on the scene. And he doesn't even have an attitude problem anymore! Yay!

Next chapter we have some bird bonding and we meet some Tamaraneans! Stay tuned for our dear Richard finding out that Raven has been to Tamaran more that once, along with a few other secrets.

The fun part is I know what happens but you don't! HA!


	7. New Levels

So our two favourite bird characters are now in the Tamaranean capital. Our dear Nightwing is in for some surprises regarding Raven and some secrets she's been keeping not only from him but from everyone. You must read to find out what ;P

_I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world  
>From turning into a monster and eating us alive<br>Don't you ever wonder how we survived?  
>Now that you're gone, the world is ours.<em>

_~Monster, Paramore_

Monster  
>Chapter 7<p>

Raven looked around, her head turning left and right. It was clear to Nightwing that she was looking for something, though he knew that made no sense. The both of them knew only one person on the entire planet of Tamaran, and they had already met with that one person – Galfore, the emperor of Tamaran and once Starfire's nanny.

"Raven, are you looking for something?" he asked, hiking the bag of clothing Galfore had given him further up his shoulder.

Raven started to turn to him to answer, but her eyes caught something and they widened, a smile playing at the corners of her lips. "Yes," she told him, and she dropped her bag and left it there, walking towards a tall Tamaranean man who was smirking at her.

"Ryand'r," she greeted him, her hands on her hips, her cloak hanging in folds, creasing where her elbows stuck out.

The young man wiped a strand of hair from his face and grinned down at Raven. "Raven. It's been years."

He opened his arms to her then and she hugged him tightly. Nightwing observed this with some measure of emotion, wondering where Raven knew this charming man from, how she had met him, and why she was familiar enough with him to let him hug her. Clearly she had neglected to tell him something, though he wasn't sure exactly what that was. He suspected that Raven had been to Tamaran before the Titans had come for Starfire's almost wedding, but he wasn't entirely sure how that fit into the timeline of things.

They were talking to each other in hushed tones, now, and, picking up Raven's fallen bag, Nightwing walked over to them and interrupted their conversation. "Hey, Raven, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" he asked amiably, handing her her bag.

She took it from him and motioned to the other man. "Nightwing, this is Darkfire, or Ryand'r, Kori's younger brother. We've been friends for years."

Nightwing looked Ryand'r up and down, sizing him up. He was sturdy, built like a male version of his older sister. He was muscled and dangerous looking with thick and vibrant red hair framing a rather handsome face. Nightwing stuck his hand out and Ryand'r shook it, the younger smiling at Nightwing as he nearly crushed the former Boy Wonder's fingers in the action.

_Way to assert yourself_, Nightwing thought. Apparently Tamaranean customs, at least regarding males, weren't as different as Starfire made them seem.

Raven seemed to notice and rolled her eyes at what was, to her, a childish action. "Oh stop it, you two. Be friends without constantly having to size each other up." She paused and looked pointedly at Nightwing. "I'm going to go change out of this and, Azar help me, into some more traditional Tamaranean clothes. You should do the same."

She turned gracefully on her heel and walked away without another word. Nightwing looked at Ryand'r and shrugged. In a similar fashion to Raven, he said nothing as he walked off, leaving Ryand'r to ponder over the return of his old friend to Tamaran and what exactly she had meant by bringing such an arrogant man-child with her.

XXX

If there was one thing Raven loved about Tamaran, it was the baths.

On Azarath, the best bath to be had was in a little copper wash basin that servants brought round if it was asked for. Of course, there was always the river, but Raven had always disliked the idea of bathing in water that was full of parasites and bacteria, particularly since her goal was to get clean. But on Tamaran, they had bathtubs the size of swimming pools and no less deep. She had filled hers with a lavender scented soap that had bubbled the entire tub, an unexpected bonus. Raven was sitting back and relaxing, waiting for news from Galfore as to where exactly she would be staying. And as nice as the public bath was, her own private one, she knew, would be that much better.

Raven knew that she probably shouldn't even be indulging in a bath. She knew Richard had questions. She had sensed them floating around in his mind as Ryand'r had hugged her, and a spike of some emotion she had never felt in him before and wasn't familiar with. She meant to talk to him about recent events – everything had happened so quickly that she hadn't had a chance to even convey her apologies for taking him so roughly out of his home, and with no warning.

And, of course, apart from all the explaining she had to give to Richard, the both of them needed to seriously up their training. Raven was fairly sure that she would be relatively safe on Tamaran; they were, after all, fighters, warriors, unlike the people of Azarath who would watch their planet be destroyed before even thinking of lifting a finger to defend themselves. Still, she knew that she couldn't rely on the strength of others to protect her. She knew that she had to be able to defend herself, both with her powers and in hand-to-hand, if it came to that. She was familiar with the Cult of Trigon, and she was well aware of the fact that some of their members had the ability to eliminate supernatural abilities from their adversaries.

Sinking further into her bath, Raven made a mental note to mention this to Richard the next time she saw him. Apologies could wait, no matter how warranted they were. This was their lives at stake, and she needed to make sure that he knew it.

She sighed loudly. She was used to things changing at the drop of a hat in her life – that sort of thing happened all the time. But she had never felt so lost, caught up in a whirlwind that she didn't understand. Yes, things had changed before, and changed drastically. But there was something about this particular change of events, just as fast an alteration, if not faster, that had her head spinning out of control. She had been alone, worked alone with Richard before. That had been the way of things before the rest of the Titans had come along. It had been just the two of them, rooming together and fighting crime for months before Cyborg had come along, and subsequently Beast Boy and Starfire.

Still, she had felt the subtle shift in their relationship the very second she had seen him standing next to her mother in the throne room. He had stood proud and tall, nothing out of the ordinary for Batman's one-time protégé, and yet she had felt something change. He had not smiled at her, even when she had joked sarcastically with him. He was not longer angry with her, she knew, but there was something different about him that she couldn't quite put her finger on, and it wasn't his differently shaped body that was the problem. He had obviously done a fair amount of growing up in the short time she had been away, which she thought a bit odd. Surely she had not caused such a drastic change. True, they were best friends, closer, perhaps, than any of the other Titans combined, but she still couldn't imagine that he had changed due to her.

Raven couldn't help but wonder how things were going to change between them. She had thought him rather distant since they had seen each other. She thought that this was perhaps explainable; he had just been thrust through at least two different star systems and not a few dimensions in under an hour. It made sense, at least on a baser level, for him to be distant, taking in the sights of a planet he had not had the opportunity to enjoy before.

It would have all fallen together for Raven if it had been anyone but Richard. He took things in stride and was never as quiet about things as he had been in the few minutes she had been with him. They had joked briefly about her new suit, but he had been serious with her both before and after. She thought perhaps something was bothering him, but then realized that she would have felt it if that were true. Being an empath was often a burden, but it was also sometimes a blessing. Robin had always been terrible at masking his emotions, and Raven thought that Nightwing probably wasn't much better.

What scared her, though, was that something was rubbing him the wrong way and he just didn't realise it yet. Raven was walking on eggshells with Richard, there was no denying it. She was worried that she would say something about Kori, especially now that they were on Tamaran, that would upset him, and he would go off on her. Only, this time she couldn't leave, and neither could he, and Raven knew that she needed to speak with Richard about everything that had happened before it happened again.

"Hey, Rae, Galfore told me to come up and tell you…"

Raven whirled around to see Richard, still in his Nightwing uniform despite her instructions to change. She didn't know what to do and she saw his eyes widened at the sight of her naked, something the bubbles in the large bath did almost nothing to conceal. Nightwing quickly turned around, his cheeks red with embarrassment.

"_Grayson_," Raven hissed, quickly jumping from the bath and grabbing her towel, wrapping it as modestly as she could around her body. "What in Azar's name are you _doing _in here?"

She saw him run his hand through his hair – loose and no longer spiked, another change that had occurred in her absence. "Sorry, Rae, I didn't mean to barge in on your bath, but Galfore told me to come tell you that there's going to be a council meeting and he wants both of us there."

She sighed, trying to expel her annoyance along with her breath. "You can turn around, Richard. I'm at least clad now."

He turned and Raven noted the sheepish look on his face with something akin to satisfaction. "Sorry," he said again, and she waved her hand in dismissal. "When you told me that the baths were like swimming pools, I thought you would be wearing a bathing suit or something."

She rolled her eyes and ran her hand through her own wet hair. "That's ridiculous and doesn't make any sense, but you're forgiven anyway. Just knock next time. I don't exactly like people seeing me naked."

He nodded solemnly. "Right. Anyway, Council chambers in ten, Galfore says. Do you want me to wait outside while you change?"

Raven almost considered telling him no, but she wanted to keep him in her sights as often as possible, hoping to keep him out of trouble, and she bit back her negative reply. "Yeah, that's a good idea. Just try and stay out of sight until you change, okay? Most of Tamaran doesn't know we're here, and we need to keep it that way if we want to keep out of the notice of the cult. You never know where they're lurking."

He nodded and walked out without another word, leaving Raven to wonder what she was going to do with this new Richard, and how she was going to handle the once ever-hopeful Boy Wonder, now too similar to her for comfort.

XXX

Robin was surprised when Raven walked out of the bath dressed in very Grecian attire. She was dressed in white, her top flowing, the back of it touching the bend of her knee, the front cut well above her navel with no sleeves. She was wearing cropped shorts of the same material and little Gladiator sandals on her feet. She had her dark, damp hair loose about her shoulders and a hand on her hip.

"Wow, Rae, you look good," he complimented her, and she gave him a small smile.

"Thanks, Blunder Boy. But fear not, you'll soon get a similar outfit." She looked him up and down, the expression on her face a definitive smirk. "Though I think you'll probably have to forego a shirt. Pity, no?"

She was baiting him and he knew it. "Yes, I'm sure it's just _such_ a pity. People are going to think I'm a man-slut."

Raven chuckled. "They will not. You forget that people on Tamaran absorb the sunlight and it helps command their powers. Why do you think everyone has 'fire' at the end of their English names?"

"Okay, you make a fair point," he conceded. "But I still don't like the idea of walking around in booty-shorts and no shirt. People will stare."

"People are going to think it's perfectly normal because it _is_. I don't see what you're complaining about anyway. It's not really going to show much more that what you're wearing now. Less, actually, since it won't be clinging to your every muscle."

"Yes, but I'll be showing skin, something this," he motioned to his uniform "doesn't do."

Raven smirked. "What, feeling self-conscious?" she teased.

He glared at her. "Oh, har har, I'm laughing so hard." He rolled his eyes and then motioned down the hall. "We need to get to that council meeting, come on."

He tugged on her arm, pulling her along after him, and she followed, thinking that he had become very like her, indeed.

XXX

"The only thing I got out of that was lodgings," Nightwing complained.

Raven ran her hand through her still slightly damp hair. "Yeah, no kidding. You'd think in a place this size that they would have given us our own rooms. I'm honestly surprised they didn't."

Galfore had brought Raven and Nightwing to the council to discuss what was going to be done with them, but the only thing that had been resolved was where they were going to stay. Galfore had decided that the two would share a room, and though Raven didn't understand why, she was at least partially thankful for it. True, she wouldn't be getting as much privacy, but it _was_ Nightwing, and despite his recent changes in personality, Raven was still very close to him. She had already reasoned out in her mind _why_ it was a good idea to keep him nearby. He was, after all, only a human, even if he was a particularly strong, well trained human. He was normally the one protecting her, but that was when they were in a place where normal people didn't have the ability to blow holes through walls with their eyes. And, so, on that level, Raven was glad she was rooming with Richard.

On another level, not so much.

They arrived at their room, a huge, spacious thing with a fantastic view of the lake below, and though it was a lovely room, Raven found one very large flaw with it – it wasn't divided to accommodate for privacy and, though the bathroom was large, there was only one.

And then there was the bed.

It was round and huge, much like Starfire's bed at the Tower, though much larger and much less pink. And, huge as it was, there was only the one, and Raven had seen Robin sleep. He was an active sleeper, and she knew that he was going to end up on her side of the bed no matter how much space there was between them to begin with. Raven sighed and dumped her bag on the ground, seriously wishing that Starfire had never broken up with Richard. Raven had a feeling that if she hadn't, none of them would be in the mess they were presently in.

"If you so much as touch me in my sleep, Dick, I am going to dismember you slowly and painfully," Raven informed him, her voice deadpan and her expression serious.

Nightwing shrugged. "I can't help it if I'm an active sleeper, Raven. I always have been. But if you're that worried about it, why don't you just go and ask if you can have another bed brought in?"

Raven surveyed the room for a long moment, doing math in her head and calculating whether or not another bed would even fit in the room. "I think I might. But first, you and I need to sit down and have a conversation. We've been pushed very suddenly into something after not seeing each other, not to mention after having a huge fight. I think we have some things we need to hash out."

She sat down on the bed, legs folded Indian-style, and patted the mattress next to her. Sighing, Nightwing jumped into the bed and landed next to Raven with a dull thump. Raven rolled his eyes and muttered "Show off" under her breath and push Nightwing away.

"Take me seriously, won't you?" she asked, a strand of black hair dropping into her face.

Noticing, Nightwing's hand quickly darted out and ticked it back in place behind Raven's ear.

"Thank you," she said. "But we need to get down to business. Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

She could see his eyes widen behind the mask and felt his emotions spike. He looked at her like a startled deer, eyes wide and frozen as if he couldn't move. She eyed him like she was going to pry if he didn't answer, and he realized this. He propped his head up on his hand, elbow digging into the mattress, and met Raven's eyes, tit-for-tat.

"Nothing's wrong with me," he claimed, and Raven shook her head.

"Don't lie to me, Dick. Not only am I an empath, but I know you better than you think I do. That makes it very hard for you to lie to me, and I know that's what you're doing now. So stop it."

He sighed and looked down at the mattress, and Raven had the odd maternal urge to gather him up in her arms and coo endearments and reassurances at him. As it were, she took his hand and squeezed it. "I know that you maybe don't want to talk about what happened or why, but I need to hear it and you need to say it. You said a lot of nasty things to me, and I just ignored them when I should have tried to help you."

Nightwing smiled up at her, and it touched his eyes. It was the first time since he had shown up on Azarath that she had truly seen him smile. "You didn't try to help me? You've got to be kidding me, Raven. You were the only one who ever tried to talk some sense into me after Kori dumped me. So honestly, I'm sorry. I was a bastard and I shouldn't have treated you that way. Best friends?"

Raven laughed. "Yes. We should get best friend rings." She paused, letting her sarcasm take the full effect. "Azar, you're so corny sometimes."

Nightwing chuckled kindly. "Yeah, well, someone has to be, I reckon. Otherwise, we'd be a pair of stoic, sarcastic outcasts, and then where would we be?"

"Social recluses, obviously," Raven answered. "Anyway, you didn't answer my question. As a matter of fact, you keep dancing around it. You just established that we're best friends, so talk to me. You know I'll listen and you know I won't judge you."

Nightwing sighed again, something Raven worried was becoming a permanent gesture of expressing his irritation. "Look, Rae, I wouldn't expect you to understand. But I just don't feel like I belong anymore. I feel like the team doesn't need me, like Kori doesn't need me and I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone anymore. That was the entire reason that I left Batman when I did. I should have just gone solo."

Raven put her hand on his shoulder, something she knew his mother used to do when he was upset. "You're not inadequate, Richard. You may not be the kind of boyfriend material Kori needs and you may not be cut out for running with Batman, but you're good enough for me. You've always been there for me and I've trusted you when I trusted no one else. And think of it this way; if you had gone solo, you wouldn't be alive anymore."

He looked at her like he was crazy. "Okay, everything you said before that I guess makes sense. But if I'd gone solo I'd be dead? How does that make any sense? Are you implying that I would have gotten myself killed?"

"Hardly" Raven replied as she flipped more hair out of her face. "I'm saying that if you hadn't been around when I became the Portal then you wouldn't have been there when I needed you the most and the entire world would be completely gone."

"Oh. That makes more sense."

Raven nodded and leaned back on her hands. "I try to do that sometimes."

There was a long silence, and Raven didn't know what to say. Nightwing had just come to her with all of his problems, even if she'd had to do a bit of hedging. And she couldn't argue that he shouldn't feel unwanted. Kori breaking up with him had really done a number on him, and Raven knew that, as a friend, she couldn't really do anything but be there for him and tell him that everything was going to be alright. Under the circumstances, it wasn't exactly a promise she could make.

She turned to say something more to him, but was surprised to see that he was asleep, his mouth slightly open, his legs dangling off of the side of the bed. Raven smiled and proceeded to take off his boots, gloves and mask so that he would be more comfortable. She dragged him further up the bed and wrapped a part of the light lavender sheets around his body and then headed off to see Galfore about that second bed.

END CHAPTER

WHEW! That was a long chapter!

So now a lot of the conflict between Raven and Nightwing is solved. Don't worry, Dickie-bird is still going to have woe-is-me-moments, but they aren't going to be as severe as they were in the first chapter or in _Monster Extras_. Do remember, though, he's making the transition from boy to man, and it's going to be hard on him.

Next chapter, we see more of Ryand'r and learn more about Raven's history, both with him and in general. Stayed tuned, and don't forget to review!


End file.
